Spirit in the Village

6 Tips for Bringing Flow into Your Life

Posted by Kevin Boon. Follow me on Twitter.

Few people have ever considered aligning with the natural flow of their lives. We are so caught up in our careers, family and other responsibilities and rarely do we take time to look at what we are doing and ask; Is this what I really want? Time flies and often we wake up in the morning, get busy and before we catch our breath the day is over and we wonder where all the time went.

The demands on our time can feel overwhelming.

Meditation, Intuition & Focusing on the Positive

Over the last few weeks I’ve been putting my focus on the concept of flow with a desire to bring the experience more fully into my life. Starting with meditation I now meditate every day to calm my mind, relax and observe the thoughts, feelings and sparks of creativity that come up for me. Listening to my intuition is the next step and is critical for this process. I’ve learned that negative thoughts, feelings or reactions are an indication that flow is missing. Only by shifting to the positive thought or feeling am I able to get into flow.

Focusing on the positive takes effort; it requires awareness and an attitude (which can include affirmations or visualizing) to consistently bring me back to the state where I want to be.

What is Flow?

The best example I can use to describe flow comes from sports. An (American) football quarterback having a great game where every pass seems to connect and every play moves the ball forward is in flow. His team wins and he becomes the hero.

The professional golfer who consistently hits every drive or putt perfectly is another example. There appears to be more than just skill, focus or determination at work for an athlete when they’re in the flow. They have trained their body and mind for years but what I'm finding is it’s not just conditioning that creates flow. Even the best athletes can have a bad game.

For me the definition of flow goes beyond our body or conscious mind. Flow is when our conscious mind steps aside and we allow our unconscious or intuition to guide us. Flow is when we just let go.

Why is Flow Important?

Many believe that success comes from our ability to use our mind, set goals, commit to action and stay organized and focused. While there is some merit to this advice, in my experience action without flow is useless. If you look at nature, instinct and natural flow are the only rules to the game.

As a society we pay a heavy price for not going with the flow of our lives, the results being stress, poor health, damaged relationships, career or financial frustrations.

What’s your Flow Like?

Whether managing your finances, your career, family, finding a job or building your business, a good question to ask is; how is my flow going? Does your mind and experience consistently flow in a positive direction or do you find yourself getting trapped in negative thinking, stress or frustration?

Here are 6 steps for what I’ve learned so far about bringing flow into my life.

This is a work in progress so be patient or feel free to offer suggestions.

1. What does flow feel like for you? – Go back to a time when something was flowing for you. How did it feel? What were you thinking? What was the situation? If you know what flow feels like you have a reference point.
2. Where is your flow level RIGHT NOW? – How smoothly do your days generally go? Is there a natural rhythm that kicks in or do you find each day a struggle? Are some days better than others? Take specific parts of your life and ask how much flow is there in my career, finances, relationships, health, family, etc.
3. Where would you like to be? – Don’t be afraid to dream big on this one. Think of your goals and your life. What would your life feel like if you were totally in the flow? Write it all down.
4. Focus on the present moment and let your intuition be your guide – Begin to use meditation, intuition, journaling, dreams, to become aware of your thoughts in each moment. Negative thoughts are usually a good indicator that flow is not happening. When you have a negative thought become aware and go to the next step.
5. Learn to shift your thoughts, feelings and beliefs from negative to positive as much as you can – Use affirmations, visualizations, law of attraction methods or whatever techniques work for you. Here are some of the resources that have helped me. (Zen Habits, Good Vibe Coach, Abraham Teachings, Inner Noodle) There is so much available to teach us how to shift our thoughts.
6. Be kind to yourself – Recognize that moving into a positive flow is a process that can take time, it doesn’t happen overnight especially if you’re used to a life that has been a mixed bag of flow and non-flow experiences.

Flow is the engine that brings balance and good things into our lives. Without flow action, goals or focus are pointless.

Moving towards positive thoughts and listening to our intuition are guides that can direct us into flow. Flow allows us to make better decisions and move more confidently toward the outcomes that make us happiest.

Observations, Mind Stuff, Visualization, Goals & People

Posted by Kevin Boon. Follow me on Twitter.

The last few days have been interesting. In my post on Monday I spoke about 6 steps for letting go of our mental resistance. Yesterday I spoke about Anger and how it can be a motivator to help us to move forward. There has been so much going that I thought today’s post could offer some tidbits from what I’ve been learning.

Mental Resistance

Remembering the old adage what we resist persists. When we hold rigid opinions, judgments or beliefs about ourselves or others we are in resistance. The way to let go of our resistant thoughts is to become flexible in our minds, identify those thoughts that limit us and then shift our perception toward a more positive thought. When you let go of your judgments, rigid opinions or negative beliefs your mind relaxes and you feel great.

Here's the link to the 6 steps.

Negative & Positive Emotions

Positive and negative emotions are part of our experience as human beings. When we experience negative emotion it’s okay to sit with the feeling, meditate and know that like the flow of life this too shall pass. Contemplate what is bothering you, meditate and move your mind toward the positive thought. Staying in negativity too long can harm us. Sometimes we need triggers to bring us back into the positive, friends, family, books, music, words… whatever it takes… reflect and bring your mind back into the positive state.

Positive thoughts and emotions are the only way to go.

Meditation & Visualization

Sometimes our dreams and desires can seem elusive. We have our goals, we know what we want but at times it may feel like a pipe dream if it hasn’t yet happened. Some will give up and say this impossible, move into a negative mind state and stop the pursuit of their dream.

Let’s say you have a goal for your career. Here are some tips: write it down, let it come from your heart, start to see it happening in your mind, meditate and when you meditate visualize and see yourself in that place, in that position, working with those people, networking and having those positive experiences. Do it everyday for just a few minutes. Keep your goal front and center, focus but at the same time let your mind relax and see yourself doing and experiencing what you love. When negative thinking or negative resistance comes in just know it’s temporary and do what you can to get back into a positive frame of mind.

Visualization can have huge benefits in helping you to move in the direction of your goals.

People, Stories & Gratitude

Last night I had a chance to attend a song writers competition at a pub in Guelph, Ontario. Although I wasn’t participating (here's my song page) the talent was amazing and I couldn’t help looking at the musicians who got up on stage and being awed by their creations. Some of them were nervous, others seemed more relaxed, some already rock stars in their own minds but each one of them had a story to tell.

Over the past few days I discovered each one of us has a story to tell and the real essence of our lives is our stories. Finding our true passions is part of the story we tell and part of life’s journey. For some reason last night time stopped for me as I realized...

Finding our true passion is the only real truth in life.

Someone asked me a similar question at the site Divine Purpose Unleased and I didn't have an answer. Today I feel I have that answer.

Letting Anger be your Motivator

Posted by Kevin Boon. Follow me on Twitter.

Yesterday was an interesting day being one of those days where nothing seemed to come together. In the morning I wrote the post 6 Steps for Letting Go of Mental Resistance . Now most of my blog entries flow and I can complete them within 45 minutes to an hour. This one took almost 3 hours to write. Over the weekend I had done some work around letting go of resistance and it seemed like a no brainer. Thinking, I’ll write this up pretty quickly and I’ll be on my way. Boy was I wrong!

Monday’s are usually my toughest day to get into the flow of writing or work. My mind is usually a little more relaxed and I find it takes me time (at least the morning) to get up to speed for the week. The rest of my day flowed in some ways but by about 5pm I was spent. I was exhausted and my wife said to me, you look frustrated. I acknowledged that I was frustrated and took some time away to clear my head. At the same time there was other chaos going on at the house that pushed my buttons. I got angry, frustrated, pissed off and recognized that these emotions were not going away any time soon. Better to just relax, read a bit and ride them out.

As I went to bed last night I was angry, frustrated and pissed off at just about everything. I slept well and when did wake I lay there for a while processing these emotions.

Law of Attraction & the Downstream Flow

Jerry and Ester Hicks in their books on the Law of Attraction frequently say, if you want to move toward your goals learn to align yourself with the downstream flow of your life. My understanding of this teaching is to let your emotions be your guide and let go of rigid thinking (beliefs, opinions, judgments) Rigid thinking keeps you paddling upstream and against the natural flow of your life. In the downstream the goal is to get to the better feeling place, which most times we think is a positive emotion or thought, however Hicks also say that sometimes the downstream thought is a negative one like anger, frustration, even rage and resentment.

Observing my anger and rage I started to realize that all my anxiety and frustration from the day before was all about my resistance to going with the downstream flow (which for me yesterday and this morning is anger, rage and resentment).

Negative Emotions as a Positive Motivator

When I get into those feelings my anger and rage do not become outer manifestations for yelling or tearing a strip off someone, although some might note that I seem a little more abrupt. The anger and rage are my inner emotions that I connect to, observe and feel within my mind and body. Using meditation I let those emotions sit and simply become the observer.

Being in the downstream flow these emotions of anger, rage and resentment are actually positive motivators and give me more determination to go after my goals. This is good thing to note because quite often people think only the positive thoughts and feelings matter.

Today as I go about my day I’m going to observe and play with these emotions. What I’ve found is the downstream changes all the time and as long as I’m moving within the flow then I’ll know that I’m moving in the direction of my goals.

Footnote: Anger is not a place where you want to stay for long but when the emotions do come up it's good to meditate with them you'll find they'll eventually change to something more positive.

The Law of Give & Take, Natural Rhythm and Flow

Posted by Kevin Boon. Follow me on Twitter.

Sometimes an idea for a post can come from the most interesting places. Last night the inspiration came from dream. It’s not often that a dream gives me ideas but when it does I’ve learned to listen, write it down and not ask too many questions. Paul McCartney said the song Yesterday (video) came to him in a dream and who’s going to argue with Paul.

My first understanding of the Law of Give and Take (Receiving) came from the concept of Karma from some of the Eastern philosophies, what you give out comes back to you. Christians have a similar philosophy, what you sow you shalt reap.

What does it all really mean?

The Law of Give and Take in Business World

There are different examples of give and take in the business world, some positive and some negative. Let’s say you are an employee working for a company where there was an open door policy, good communication, good relationship between management and employees, opportunity for advancement and recognition. The feeling created would be a good one and if the company aligns those values with a common purpose to drive revenue or sales, the organization would prosper and people would feel good about working there.

The opposite is also true for organizations that create a closed environment, create fear, treat employees poorly and only look at profits and the bottom line. While these organizations still may succeed financially they sacrifice the heart of their business by creating distrust, hostility and a stressful workplace.

The Law of Give and Take in our Personal Lives

The same is true on a personal level. In our relationships if we encourage, support, listen to and empower others then most of the time our relationships blossom and others will reciprocate. The opposite is true when we treat someone poorly by being critical, unsupportive, demanding, or if we threaten or refuse to listen to their needs.

People can get confused with the law of give and take. We expect others to reciprocate our good deeds. You might give to one person and they might lash out at you. Their response made you angry you lash back and an argument begins. Each negative statement builds on the last and before you know it two people who are good friends intensely dislike each other.

The way to break this cycle is when you feel like lashing out give instead, encourage, listen, say nothing, or if that's not possible send the other person good thoughts. You’ll be amazed at how fast a hostile environment can change to something positive.

There are extreme behaviours to give and take.

The Martyr Syndrome

A martyr is someone who is constantly giving but doesn’t like to receive. They give usually at the expense of their own needs and refuse to receive because of low self esteem. What happens is an energy gap is created and the person over time feels tired and worn out.

The solution for the martyr is to learn to receive and let go of their guilt about receiving.

A common opinion is that Mother Theresa would be a Martyr. This is not true because although she gave tirelessly of her services (to the poor and disenfranchised) she knew how to receive what she wanted and needed for her cause. (ie. money, volunteers, political support, etc.)

The Taker

The taker is the other extreme. This is a person who is constantly taking or receiving but never gives back. When we come into contact with takers our common feeling is they are just trying to get something from us, they’re slimy and we don’t trust them. We sense from their actions that they’re out for themselves and seem lack compassion for others.

Takers can find more balance from learning to give without any expectation of receiving.

Applying the Law of Give and Take into your Life

Finding the balance between giving and receiving is one of the best ways to find balance. You can give or receive in many ways including money, words of encouragement, support, empowering others, helping, listening, etc. Be warned that giving money requires some thought in itself because some acts of giving are empowering and others disempowering to the receiver. This will be a topic for a future post.

Ideas for giving:

• Develop your ability to listen. Most people want to be heard but few of us take time to listen. When you do listen you establish a greater level of trust.
• Offer words of encouragement or tell a co-worker they’re doing a great job.
• Hold the door open or let someone go in front of you at the checkout line.
• Be courteous and let that driver go in front of you.
• Pay for lunch.

Learn to give without expecting anything in return.

Ideas for receiving:

• Let someone else buy lunch.
• When someone is courteous, holds the door open, or gives encouragement say thank you.

Learn to receive without feeling guilty or feeling obligated to do anything in return.

In our society we can apply conditions to giving. If I pay for lunch today you might feel guilty and obligated to pay next time. The law does not keep a checklist. If you can get into a flow and natural rhythm with the law of give and take then it will just happen naturally. You might give to one person but you’ll receive from another.

You will feel balanced and content.

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Using Meditation to Get Back on Track

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We all have those days where nothing goes as planned. Our schedule is in place we’re ready to go and then a call comes from the school saying your child’s sick. Everything gets put on hold as you rush home to take care of your child. Other times we’re just not in a productive state of mind. Tuesday was like that for me.

Now that I’m writing more frequently I’ve found that I need to give myself downtime. Typically that comes on the weekend where I don’t post and if I do work it’s more free-flow writing, planning or organizing. Weekends can also get busy and this past weekend was very busy helping my wife with a tradeshow and having family in town for a visit.

As I’m building readership for my blog I have developed a to-do list with some specific goals such as registering at various sites to increase traffic, commenting and networking with other bloggers, setting up affiliate programs, re-design and creating a new banner for my site, business cards, etc…, plus I want to write good content. The list is quite long and will likely take a few weeks to get everything in place.

Distractions

On Monday we had a holiday in Ontario so I was back working and posting on Tuesday. With my to-do list in hand I was ready to go, however…

Tuesday did not flow at all. I got distracted early in the day and you can waste a lot of time with email, Twitter or other social networking sites. My to-do list seemed overwhelming and by the afternoon I was feeling frustrated, uninspired and upset that nothing was getting done. I meditated which helped me to relax but there was still that part of me that was off track.

Pressure, To-Do Lists & the Ego

The pressure of the to-do list was getting to me and I realized it was that voice in my head (my ego) telling me I had to get it all done and panicking that it wouldn’t get done and this blogging is never going to work. Why don’t you go and get a real job, etc. Once I observed that it was my ego creating all this stress it was then time for me to relax and do nothing, become the observer. Taking some of the tips I learned from Law of Attraction methods I took the ego’s words an reframed them, “nothing needs to be done tonight and all will come together and happen as it’s supposed to. This is going to come together." The ego side disappeared I was able to relax, enjoy my evening and get ready for the next day.

Wednesday arrived (yesterday). I did my usual 20 minutes meditation but in that time I had my to-do list beside me, I wrote down 2 or 3 things that were most important for the day and meditated. I allowed myself to relax and let whatever thoughts flow. The experience was calming, relaxing and allowed me to get back on track.

The Lesson: Letting Go of Rigid Thinking

• When we hold on to rigid thinking we create stress.
• Rigid thinking mostly comes out of fear (the ego).
• When we let go of being rigid by reframing our thoughts we begin to relax and let go of our fear.
• Relaxing eases my mind and allows us to get back into the flow.

Meditation allows us to become aware of and release rigid thinking and create more flow to our lives.

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Basic Principles: Walking Meditation

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Over the years I have meditated on and off. When my mind is too active or things are too busy I find it’s easy to talk myself into not meditating.

The Meditation Project - My Experience

After making the commitment in January to meditate every day for at least 20 minutes something has changed. First, the chatter (or stream of thought flowing through my mind) has reduced significantly. When I started the chatter was constant, now that stream seems more subtle and sometimes my mind is totally quiet. Second, I notice that I am not triggered as much by events as I was before. I’m more relaxed and centered. Third, when I meditate I feel like I’m in an incubator (don’t know how else to describe it). I’m totally at peace, my mind is totally relaxed and often I don’t want the experience to end.

This is last post in this series about basic principles of meditation. These ideas have come from my own experience and I’m sure will evolve over time. For a sitting meditation I’ve talked about becoming the observer of your thoughts, breath and emotions. A greater awareness of your ego is another step which allows you to go deeper. And finally learning to direct your thought and emotion toward the positive is one of the basic principles of the Law of Attraction.

Walking Meditation

To bring this experience full circle the next step is to start to apply these techniques into your daily life. This is what I call a Walking Meditation. Most of us run on autopilot for most of our day from our jobs, running around after the kids or doing errands. Rarely do we take time for ourselves to become centered.

Here are a couple of suggestions.

Next time you get into your car. Let’s say you’re driving to work. Turn off the radio, cell phones or any distraction. Focus on your breath and observe how your body feels. Focus on your thoughts. What are you thinking about? Allow the thought to come in, be aware and then let it go… go back to your breath. Get into the practice of bringing your awareness into the present moment. You can practice this at any stage during your day.

If I’m in a business situation (let’s a say a board meeting) quite often I’ll bring my awareness into that moment. I’ll look around the room and observe who’s in the room, the general mood or feeling and then I’ll then bring my attention to myself and become aware of my breathing, my thoughts and so on. This tends to make me more centered, focused and alert to whatever is going on.

Life can get pretty distracting and it’s easy to go back into autopilot. However if you practice a little bit at a time you develop an awareness muscle that can help you to be more centered as you go about your day.

This is the end of this series of posts on the Basic Principles of Meditation. Stay tuned, my E-Book will soon be available and more interesting posts to come. Be sure to subscribe to my blog in either in reader or via email below.

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Basic Principles: Meditation and the Law of Attraction

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Over the past week I have shared some basic principles of Meditation that include developing an awareness of our thoughts, breath, emotions and our ego. Now I want to take some time to speak about Meditation and the Law of Attraction. For years I struggled integrating these two concepts.

Meditation as I understood was about silencing the mind, releasing thought and becoming the observer of our lives. My interpretation of silence was “let go of all thought”. Law of Attraction and books like Think and Grow Rich on the other hand said use your thoughts to focus on what you want. There was a conflict for me but I later found it was from my lack of understanding.

In 2008 I came back to the Law of Attraction, this time with a set of books by Jerry and Ester Hicks. What I learned is that our thoughts do create our reality and it is important to keep our thoughts and expectation positive. Our guidance system is our feelings and we can use our feelings or emotions to tell if we’re on track. The Hick’s teachings say, by moving toward positive feeling we can align with the natural flow of our lives. Law of Attraction I discovered is know what you want, keep your thoughts and emotions focused on the positive, and then allow yourself to get into the natural flow or rhythm of your life. When you learn these principles your wants and desires unfold naturally.

With this teaching I have come to understand that Law of Attraction fits perfectly within a meditation practice.

So how have I combined these two teachings?

First I had to recognize my error. Silencing the chatter within my mind was important but that doesn’t mean we eliminate thought. For many years I carried that image of spiritual guru withdrawing from the world and living in a cave for 20 years. Quietly I always wondered if that’s what I had to do. Fortunately I discovered that I can live a completely normal, productive life with a career, family and even technology, but I can use these principles to make my life more balanced, centered and happy.

Here is how I have incorporated Law of Attraction teachings into my life.

1. Start by writing down what you want This might include what you want for a career, health, weight loss, exercise, relationships, etc.. Jerry & Ester Hick’s books & DVDs are source information. On the web you can check out Good Vibe Coach. You don’t have to get it perfect. What you write down today will change as you develop your own understanding of what you really want. I have written and re-written my goals probably over a dozen times since I started this process.
2. Focus on the positive thought or feeling This aligns perfectly within my meditation practice because when a negative thought or emotion comes up I have learned to re-frame my thinking toward the positive or in the direction of the outcome that I want.
3. Allow your desires and let the flow of your life happen naturally This aligns with meditation because for each thought or desire I use my meditation practice to become aware of the thought, focus and then let the thought go. What I’ve found is my goals and desires start to unfold naturally.
4. Finally, develop the practice of Walking Meditation which will be my last and final post on the Basic Principles of Meditation.